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Ashes Third Test

July 30, 2009
Top: The Shermanator, Bottom: Ian Bell

Top: Legendary Hollywood character The Shermanator, Bottom: Not so legendary England batsman Ian Bell

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, all rounders are The Shit.

The Ozzies agree. Phil Hughes even more reluctantly so accepts that here, tweeting about being dropped.

Australia’s disappearing all rounder Mitchell Johnson may seem like he’s lost his radar but his half century at Lord’s put him ahead of the pack in my fantasy picks.

Phil’s unidimensional game on the other hand means that I’m not touching the fella with a 40 foot pole. Sure enough, he failed in both innings of the second test. Once to his own banana-farmer-hacking-plantain shot and once to a dubious claim by Oberstleutnant Strauss.

Hence Shane Watson walks in, to rescue Australia with his attacking batting at the top, aggressive bowling in the middle and interpretive dance-fielding all over the place. Before he limps out/ has to be carried out on a stretcher.

The crystal ball predicts that Watson’s latest injury will happen when he’ll try to shoulder barge into Ian Bell but will instead run into the Shermanator’s aura of invincibility and hurt himself.

The fight for the world’s weirdest prize is on. Who’s in your team?

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